Navigating a very difficult period
Found out during the week that my company doesn't plan on renewing my fixed-term contract when it expires next month. I moved to this country almost three years ago for this job, so I feel completely blindsided and, if I'm being truthful, pretty terrified about what happens next.
I've spent the last few days frantically applying for other positions, but right now I just feel defeated. Because my ability to remain here is tied to my employment/work permit, if I don't secure another opportunity within the next few weeks, I'll likely have to return home and face being unemployed for a while.
The strange part is that I've actually been deeply unhappy at this job for quite some time. I've been applying elsewhere and attending interviews because I wanted to leave, but unfortunately nothing materialized before this happened. I think what hurts is that I wanted to leave on my own terms, with somewhere else to go. Instead, that choice has effectively been taken out of my hands.
There have also been some interpersonal issues at work. One senior person in particular, who is married to the head of the company, has openly had an issue with the fact that I'm quiet, keep to myself and don't engage much socially at work. We had a significant disagreement shortly before I received the non-renewal notice, so naturally I've wondered whether that played a role in the decision. I can't say for certain that it did, though.
From a work-performance standpoint, I've consistently received satisfactory performance ratings and haven't been told that my technical performance was the reason for the decision. I'm hoping to have a conversation with the partner to understand what actually contributed to it.
More than anything, I'm struggling with the emotional side of it. I've built a whole life here over the last few years. I have my home, my routines, my independence and the life I've become accustomed to, and suddenly there's a very real possibility that I'll have to pack everything up and leave within weeks.
I know logically that one company's decision doesn't determine the rest of my career or my life, but emotionally it's difficult to believe that right now. I feel numb, embarrassed, scared and completely uncertain about what comes next.
For anyone who has unexpectedly lost a job or had a contract not renewed, especially while living abroad, how did you get through that initial period of panic and uncertainty? Did things eventually work out better than you expected? I could really use some perspective from people who have been on the other side of this.
I've spent the last few days frantically applying for other positions, but right now I just feel defeated. Because my ability to remain here is tied to my employment/work permit, if I don't secure another opportunity within the next few weeks, I'll likely have to return home and face being unemployed for a while.
The strange part is that I've actually been deeply unhappy at this job for quite some time. I've been applying elsewhere and attending interviews because I wanted to leave, but unfortunately nothing materialized before this happened. I think what hurts is that I wanted to leave on my own terms, with somewhere else to go. Instead, that choice has effectively been taken out of my hands.
There have also been some interpersonal issues at work. One senior person in particular, who is married to the head of the company, has openly had an issue with the fact that I'm quiet, keep to myself and don't engage much socially at work. We had a significant disagreement shortly before I received the non-renewal notice, so naturally I've wondered whether that played a role in the decision. I can't say for certain that it did, though.
From a work-performance standpoint, I've consistently received satisfactory performance ratings and haven't been told that my technical performance was the reason for the decision. I'm hoping to have a conversation with the partner to understand what actually contributed to it.
More than anything, I'm struggling with the emotional side of it. I've built a whole life here over the last few years. I have my home, my routines, my independence and the life I've become accustomed to, and suddenly there's a very real possibility that I'll have to pack everything up and leave within weeks.
I know logically that one company's decision doesn't determine the rest of my career or my life, but emotionally it's difficult to believe that right now. I feel numb, embarrassed, scared and completely uncertain about what comes next.
For anyone who has unexpectedly lost a job or had a contract not renewed, especially while living abroad, how did you get through that initial period of panic and uncertainty? Did things eventually work out better than you expected? I could really use some perspective from people who have been on the other side of this.
31-35, F
