A day after work...

Everyone at work was trying to be close.
I stay on the sidelines.
I'm there when they need something. I'm there to give out gifts on occasions. They do the same.

But for the first time, without putting much thought, I had a conversation where I admitted one thing. Well, two things.

One. "I'm not there to be social." I think the girl who heard me got the surprise of the day.
I never meant to hurt or cause an offense. I wonder if she knew.
It's just that being close to people indicates wanting validation of a sort. I have no room for that in life.
I've got no expectations of being close.
Once, I did. Before.
But now?
Now, I don't.

Two. "I guess it's real what they say. You tend to forget your age when in your 30s."
But I feel it's more truthful to say that you start caring less for your age. Because birthdays are things to celebrate. But you no longer care about yourself as much. There are priorities and goals to focus on. So you have less time for what you truly want.
But I didn't explain it nor did I say anything that could imply it. So maybe she ended up pitying me.
And the thing is...even that doesn't matter to me.