I have a work party and I feel like sharting myself

My former employer won't be there, but for some reason, I'm feeling anxious. Maybe they're going to judge me? Since I am the homewrecker of the workplace. I actually ran into one of my coworkers earlier, and she was telling me how hectic work has been since our boss was sent home. She seemed oblivious to the fact that it was because of me, but she was also away for several months.