Depressed......Even through the happiness there are always bitter reminders that...I am not good enough.

Realizing I don't have friends in Ireland. I asked a few work acquaintances who live there. One helped me out with something. I didn't want to ask for another favor. Finally, not finding anyone else, I had to ask them again. They couldn't help me out. So then my last option was another acquaintance. I realized he's like......he wants....favours....idk that's just something I sensed. So once when he refused, I didn't push him anymore. I also understand it's hard for people to do any favours that involve monetary exchange.

Being helpless is something I hate. I'm also a pretty self reliant individual. I hate this phase. I hope it's over soon and I'm in a better place.