I don't want to work today what should I tell them?

As long as you mention the word, "period", every man goes brain dead, stops listening and just says, "Yes."

Woman's problems

You have a urinary tract infection and you're in a lot of pain.

how many times have you killed off your grandma? That's a good one

That from your country. Halloween is a week long celebration.

Who DOES want to work?

No offence, but as much as you don't want to go, you pretty much HAVE to, imagine if your boss finds out you just decided to take the day off?

you are possessed by a monster called sloth and you are going on a date with him

You should probably go to work. Lies always come back twofold.

Tell then you are either pregnant or going to a funeral

Hangover from the weekend

tell them you have malaria 👍

Tell them you're living in 2017

that you don't wanna work today 😁

Certainly not that.