Just had a weird interaction with a colleague

Colleague: We need to make Project X our number one priority. I have heard many people on Tracy's team talk about how great it is.
Me: I actually attended a workshop about it last weekend. Good idea, but not a top priority.
Colleague: I've heard people talking about it. It will save lots of money.
Me: Lots? How much is lots? I don't think it's that much.
Colleague: It's a lot.
Me: How much though?
Colleague: A lot. I've heard people talking.
Me: But how much?
Colleague: A lot. Trust me.
Me: How much is a lot though?
Colleague: I've heard people talking! Why don't you trust me?
Me: I would need an estimate. Let's call Tracy.
Colleague: I don't like your attitude. It will save a lot and I refuse to believe otherwise.
Me: *calls Tracy* Tracy how much would Project X save?
Tracy: Not a ton, maybe two grand? Not nearly as much as Project Y.
Colleague: I guess we just think different opinions. I still think we should pursue it. I don't believe Tracy.

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Serenitree · F

I know exactly how you feel about that bizarre attitude.

They try to convince you that they are right, based on information they claim to have got from someone else. When confronted with that somebody who disagrees with them, do they back off? Nope. They say that person is not the most reliable source.

IF I was that person's boss/supervisor, I'd be doing a job eval on their job performance and maybe giving them a big demotion.

SteelHands · 61-69, M

You can use dialogue to stave off disputes by using "test flight process" or "synergistic approach"

Making the point that the Project X is a good, easy, short term process to conserve resources or personnel for assignments to project Y is another strategy.

Obstinate or pessimistic people can be placed in a "primary oversight and deployment team" which diffuses their ability to infect project Y with counterproductive personnel.

Leadership never puts up barricades to a competing leader's ill conceived predictable failure.

KneAuxBody

@SteelHands fabulous last sentence!!!

Serenitree · F

@SW-User you are tactful. That's a lot better than I could ever do. People who credit "people" with being the authority on something, but refuse to say who they are just get my dander up, and I get frustrated. Then I tell them that without confirmation from those so called people in the know, I'm not prepared to fall for anything.

I guess that's why I was never a supervisor until I started my own business.

SW-User

@Serenitree I wasn't always like this -- then I realized -- I don't really give a shit. So, it's just easier. Not sure the particulars of her case, but only rarely do I confront these days.

Serenitree · F

@SW-User I loved being my own boss and having only a couple of employees. I never became wealthy, but I was much richer in peace of mind and no ulcers from all the office politics.

GlueGun

just reading this makes me miserable.

SW-User

You could have handled that interaction better.

CSYLFM

@SW-User What should I have done? This colleague does this a lot so I'd love to have suggestions.

SW-User

@CSYLFM Some context in terms of who has final say would be helpful. For example "I like that idea (affirmation)Let's put that on the staff meeting agenda (delay = appeal to SOP)."

Or, that's a really interesting idea (affirmation) -- in order for me to put above the Y project I may need to talk to Jerry first. Do you mind if I ask Tracy for more specifics?"

I'm sure you might say neither of those scenarios fits, but I work in a place where direct confrontation is not the culture, so I always am doing work-arounds like the ones I mentioned.

CSYLFM

@SW-User Good point. Will keep that in mind. Thanks.

Montanaman · M

SMH🤦, 🙄fkn douchebag.

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