I am in a negative head space, and I am being a downer. I am going to try to get myself back on the positive train.

I've been reading through your posts and not saying anything because Im right there with you.
Im certain there are answers, lets not talk about their ease...I am sorry you are going through this though. this is shit and you have every right to feel the way you do.
Im all for and all about the positive train! There is always good to be found, but you do need to keep in mind that you might not find it in the situation you are currently in so don't beat yourself too bloody trying to be positive. Be determined. You will find answers.