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What's a better way to say "Hello. How are you?"

Apparently some people don't bother to check new messages that start with "Hello. How are you?"
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SW-User
Howdy, how's it hanging? I'm desperate for your attention, message me!
SW-User
@hyg346: 😂
SW-User
@Alex1610: well it is more truthful isn't it?
SW-User
@hyg346: Too truthful lol
SW-User
@Alex1610: well maybe the ladies will take pity on those guys and message them? 🤔 Or maybe not lol
SW-User
@hyg346: I don't think they will lol
SW-User
@Alex1610: way to destroy guys' hopes. ;( Haha