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What's a better way to say "Hello. How are you?"

Apparently some people don't bother to check new messages that start with "Hello. How are you?"
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SW-User
I dunno. I sorta suspect that the same people who complain that those sorts of messages are far too dull and flavorless would complain about messages that are too crazy and weird if you came up with something more interesting. they're trying to kobayashi maru everyone and just want to have something to complain about. if they were getting no messages it'd be complaints about how the site is dead and nobody messages them.
SW-User
@DeadCowboy: Right! We shouldn't give a damn about them
SW-User
@Alex1610: well... just understand the limits of what you can do, I think.