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What's a better way to say "Hello. How are you?"

Apparently some people don't bother to check new messages that start with "Hello. How are you?"
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SW-User
wassup nigga

can I charm you till my web of deceit is complete
SW-User
@anotherclone: Lol Too blunt
SW-User
@Alex1610: no wonder I can't pull off a threesome..