Is it pathetic to allow your depression and sadness to kick in at night when there's not much fight left?...

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I don't think you have much control over things like that. It just happens. Just think of something you accomplished today and be thankful you made it through, and set a goal for tomorrow knowing it's a new day.
My daughter suffered from depression right after high school. It's not easy, and it's real... just keep positive and celebrate small accomplishments.