Have you ever loved someone that didn't love themself?

Toxic in what way? Did they resent you because of their condition? Or was it too draining for you to not get fulfillment from them?

@HalfCactus: They resist affection because they believe they do not deserve it. Their dark moods can get exhausting. And yes it is draining to pour out love into someone who is not going to love you back in a way that makes you feel fulfilled even if they do love you in the way they know how to.

@Aidolovemostofyourthoughts: I figured. My friend is going through the same thing. How did it end between you two, if you don't mind me asking?

@HalfCactus: It was an on and off relation for so long. In the end, he did something that hurt me so bad ( you can imagine the magnitude of that considering the whole relation was mostly painful ), all the hurt from our time together just came out and suddenly I stopped caring. And I walked away and nothing he did after to bring me back swayed me.

@Aidolovemostofyourthoughts: I appreciate you bringing that up for me. I know it couldn't have been easy. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Like I said, my friend is going through the same thing and I have to hear about the frustration and pain she's living with right now

@HalfCactus: It is a form of emotional abuse, what she is going through right now, with probably a lot of confusion in her head because she is so close to the whole experience. The only way to recover from this is to leave.

@Aidolovemostofyourthoughts: The guy knows he has to do better, and wants to do better, but can't. I don't think he wants to hurt her, but it's something beyond his control. It's just a bad situation all around

@HalfCactus: My ex couldn't help himself either. It was just the way he was. But sometimes people being just as they are can hurt other people they let in their lives. She can choose to be with him but she will always be miserable because he can't help himself. Or she can leave, feel terrible for a while but slowly gather her life back. I chose to be selfish after giving him almost 4 years of my life, out of which over 3 years were painful. The thing is, he did genuinely love me. Which made it harder to leave when I should have a lot earlier.

@Aidolovemostofyourthoughts: As someone that didn't love himself until very recently, I would agree with you. I think the guy needs a lot of reflection before he can improve, and a breakup, albeit painful for everyone, would benefit them in the long run. It took almost a year of heartache and misery before I finally came around