The Trumps behind the scenes
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In an operation reminiscent of the ill-fated 1995 Operation Dumbo Drop starring Ray Liotta, Danish commandos reportedly snatched Donald Trump straight off the 10th hole at Mar-a-Lago via helicopter hoist, depositing him unceremoniously in the middle of Greenland.
“But I was just about to putt for a birdie,” Trump protested.
“That’s a friggin’ lie,” barked a heavily accented commando. “That was your fifth shot.”
Simultaneously, Melania Trump was plucked from her laundry room mid-iron, tending to a piece of designer underwear bearing the optimistic phrase, “tonight could be the night” across the posterior.
Naturally, the entire Trump entourage was rounded up for the involuntary excursion. Jared Kushner was particularly aggrieved, lamenting that securing a minion for Sabbath services would now be impossible. His concerns were swiftly alleviated with an offer to appoint him Chief Rabbi of Greenland.
Meanwhile, McDonald's arranged special provisions to keep Trump supplied with Big Macs and Quarter Pounders, delivered via DoorDash dogsled teams. Due to logistical constraints, however, the burgers would be made from reindeer meat.
This proved devastating for Barron Trump, who became inconsolable upon learning that the “cherry” atop his burger bun was, in fact, Rudolph’s nose.
In an operation reminiscent of the ill-fated 1995 Operation Dumbo Drop starring Ray Liotta, Danish commandos reportedly snatched Donald Trump straight off the 10th hole at Mar-a-Lago via helicopter hoist, depositing him unceremoniously in the middle of Greenland.
“But I was just about to putt for a birdie,” Trump protested.
“That’s a friggin’ lie,” barked a heavily accented commando. “That was your fifth shot.”
Simultaneously, Melania Trump was plucked from her laundry room mid-iron, tending to a piece of designer underwear bearing the optimistic phrase, “tonight could be the night” across the posterior.
Naturally, the entire Trump entourage was rounded up for the involuntary excursion. Jared Kushner was particularly aggrieved, lamenting that securing a minion for Sabbath services would now be impossible. His concerns were swiftly alleviated with an offer to appoint him Chief Rabbi of Greenland.
Meanwhile, McDonald's arranged special provisions to keep Trump supplied with Big Macs and Quarter Pounders, delivered via DoorDash dogsled teams. Due to logistical constraints, however, the burgers would be made from reindeer meat.
This proved devastating for Barron Trump, who became inconsolable upon learning that the “cherry” atop his burger bun was, in fact, Rudolph’s nose.
