Tips on essay writing?

I want to write an essay, to give my English teacher, about how much I hate essays. So, I am going to have a bunch of stuff that will piss her off, like the wrong font (size and type) and a bunch of contractions. By the way, this isn't actually required.

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SW-User

This is petty and won't do anything for you. Why would she care? You're going out of your way spending hours just to create something to spite her and she probably won't even be mad. You lose.