How did you introduce your first boyfriend to your parents?
When did you introduce your SO to your parents? I've been thinking about this recently, just out of curiosity. Do you just go up to them and say you are in a relationship now with some dude/chick they might not even know? My parents would tease me endlessly about it, but that might just be because of my age. You also might have to hide them if your parents are really strict and/or dramatic or you think they wouldn't accept your new SO based on nationality (EDIT: I think ethnicity might work better here)/age/grades/stuff, how do you do that? I mean, how do you meet up without your parents knowing? Can you just go out without them questioning you or do you lie to them? What if they have to drive you somewhere - your bf/gf might live too far away to get there by yourself (if you don't have a car) or your parents might not want you driving around in the dark. What was it like introducing your very first boyfriend to your parents and how did it feel?
I came out earlier this year and I'm open to the idea of getting serious with someone eventually, and I started thinking about what it would probably be like to have a boyfriend and introduce him to my family. Those of you who have experienced this: what was it like? Were you scared? Nervous? Excited? Tell me your story! Ladies, how did you make the first meeting between your family and your SO ?
Hey Everyone,
How long did you wait to introduce your SO to your parents?
I (M37) have been dating a girl (37) for about three months. On Halloween my parents are having a BBQ and I was going to take her to meet them for the first time. I mentioned this to a friend and she said, "Wow, that's really fast." Is it fast? I was wondering something how did you make the first meeting between your family and your SO? At which moment? How did you introduce your partner to your parents?
I (F17) am dating a M17 and we've been dating for a year. We'll both be 18 by summer. I speak to my mum a lot about my boyfriend and she's happy I'm happy with him and she finds him cute from my descriptions. They haven't met yet and i haven't met his mum yet either. Any advice? Thinking going out to dinner but idk... Ladies, do you introduce your SO to your parents (and why)?
I know its common/customary for women to bring home their SO's and introduce...yadda yadda. My family is asian. My mother is a borderline narcissist who has been pestering me to bring my SO home so she can "approve him" (her words, not mine). I ended up moving out for Uni and never introducing the two. Just didn't want to subject him to her bullshit. How did you introduce your SO to your parents?
As a person who has always hid her dating life from her parents and has never introduced anyone to them, due to them being super strict asian parents, I’ve always wondered how does one just tells them about their boyfriend/girlfriend? My boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage, so I think now would be a good time to tell my dad about my partner. I just don't know how to bring this up and how to initiate the conversation, so I was hoping you guys could help me out. How did it go when you introduced your girlfriend/boyfriend to your parents?
AskIndia
My girlfriend and I are very serious and I'd like for her to meet my parents. We're still in our mid twenties so it's not like we'll get married right away but I'd still like to do this. I don't think my parents will object to it really but we've never brought up the topic of dating at home. I just want to hear about the experience people have had with something like this- how'd you bring it up?/ How did the conversation and eventual meeting go? How did you introduce your SO to your parents?
Just wondering how you approached it. I want to do this the right way, with his parents meeting mine etc (we're Pakistani) but I have no idea how to go about it. My family is liberal-ish, they wanted me to start dating, but I still feel awkward about telling them about my boyfriend. Any ideas? How long did you wait before introducing your parents to the person you’re dating and why? I'll get right to the point here. There's this guy and he's a student in my city, he's not actually from here. Anyway, we've known each other for three weeks and he invited me to come meet his parents. At first I thought that he was joking and asked why I'd meet his parents and he said that he's sure that they'll like me. We're not dating..just hanging out and getting to know each other but something tells me that we're not friends (yet) either. Is this weird? So I (F20) am an only child and I am very close with my parents (Dad 55, Mom 60). My dad is very protective of me and I have never introduced someone I am dating to him a) because they have not been serious relationships and b) because I've been scared of the idea of him meeting anyone I date (irrationally). I go to college about an hour away from home, and live with my parents during the breaks.
In October I started dating this absolutely wonderful guy (26) and things have been going amazingly well. I told my parents, and after expressing their concern about the age difference, said they wanted to meet with him whenever the moment felt right. I said sure.
Now, I thought my bf was going to be in California for New Years, and I just found out he will only be a state away staying with his mom for the new year. He asked me if I wanted to join him, and meet his mother. I said possibly, but I would have to talk it over with my parents.
He also said that he would drive me back home (seeing as I don't have a car, and taking the bus is expensive) and if he does this, he will end up meeting my parents.
So here's my first question: Is a little over two months too early for a mutual meeting of parents?
Second: What would be a good way to broach the idea of me spending the new year's with my boyfriend with my very protective father? I spent new year's with some friends last year, but I'm not so sure how comfortable he'd be with me a state away and with my boyfriend.
*I know I'm 20 (almost 21) and an adult. It's just he's my dad, he loves me, and he's paranoid of something bad happening to me. tl;dr want to spend new years with my boyfriend (26) in another state, how to bring up the subject with my dad, and is two months too soon to meet the parents? I want to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. we've been dating for 1.3 years now. In my family if you are a girl, you shouldn't really introduce them to dad unless you plan on getting married.. Except for my brothers. They are free to date and bring home whom ever they'd like too.
My past relationship, my ex kept me isolated (could not use public transportation, could not have friends, jealous of me spending time with family, etc), restricted my ability to work, made me loose jobs, ruined my credit, controlled my finances, emotionally abused me, and didn't want me to pursue college so he threatened with an ultimatum.. it took me 8 years to leave.. I still feel like a 16 year old girl and it sucks. However, I am not the naive little girl anymore. Just one who has literally no life experience except the experience of abuse. I'm debating whether or not I want to introduce this new bf to my parents because of our age gap.
This guy acts like he's 10 years older than me and has some crazy wisdom and is just so amazing. He truly makes me happy, and encourages me to do new things, make new friends, and I'm even inspired to apply for graduate school next semester and we are both seniors in College.
I'm 25 and he's 20. We are also in an LDR.. I would just like a parent perspective on this. I've already met his parents and they were so kind to me and welcoming, & I really think my parents would love him too. Except for the age gap part. I don't like that society may deem this as wrong in someway. But being with him, I have truly blossomed into someone so much better. I feel like the happiest girl in the world when we spend time together in person and through distance. When and how did you tell to your parents or family that you are having a relationship with someone you met online? How much do you value your parent's opinion about your own boyfriend? My SO's parents have always had varying opinions about me. My last girlfriend's parents thought I was great, couldn't have been more welcoming and friendly towards me and it showed in her behaviour (she even said it was something she found attractive about me).
In the relationship before that though my girlfriend's parents seemingly turned her against me, suggesting that I wasn't right for her. Things had been going great up to this point, we'd play tennis together, laugh all the time, even frolic in fields. I didn't even know that happened in real life!
Me on the other hand, I don't even involve my parents in any of my relationships, if my parents say they don't like somebody I'm with then that's up to them, the only opinion that matters to me is mine and the person I'm with. So I struggle to see the other side a little.
Where do you stand on the scale and why? Has it happened the other way around? Would you only introduce a girl you were serious about to your parents?
My (22f) SO and I have been together for a little under a year now, and I am having trouble trying to figure out how serious he is about me. I am in the last year of my undergrad, and he is a 25 year old grad student. Good sex life, a lot in common, blah blah blah. We are both extremely busy but are able to see each other about 2-3times a week. We have had one conversation about the state of our relationship but it was only about 3 months in and up to that point he and I had only really established that we weren't hooking up with anyone else, and he seemed nonchalant about labels. We were kind of awkward about assigning a label after that but after awhile he just started calling me his gf. Basically I have been trying to gauge whether or not he is serious about our relationship/what his thoughts are on the future but I don't want to freak him out or anything by bringing it up. Also, I love him, and can't imagine what it would feel like if he said he felt casual about things at this point. Anyway, about 2 months ago his parents came into town and he was extremely eager for me to meet them which surprised me because while he told me that they were coming long beforehand, he didn't tell me he wanted me to spend time with them or even meet them until the night before they arrived. I was pretty annoyed by it but I did end up meeting them because my plans for that day involved me being 5 minutes away from where he was taking them.
Ultimately I am wondering how you guys feel about introducing girls to your parents, and whether or not it means anything to you? Me and my kids always go to my parents house for Christmas and stay for a week or 2. Well this year I’m not sure what I should do because they’ve told me they don’t want me to bring my boyfriend who’s been coming to my house every year since we were 5.
His family is in Florida this year so he doesn’t have family to spend Christmas with. We have been friends since we were 5 and my parents have always loved having his family over for Christmas. We started dating in July and now they have a sudden change of heart. My dad flat out told me “it’s because he’s black, we don’t care if you’re friends but we can’t have that in our family.” I’m not sure what I should do, go anyway? I don’t want my kids to not see their grandparents but I also don’t want him to be uncomfortable, and I don’t want my kids to be around people who can’t accept someone in their family just because he’s black. I was going to be telling them I am pregnant on Christmas Day but seeing as they don’t want that “in their family” they would hate the news. I’m so torn on what to do.
I told my boyfriend what was said when it was said and he was also questioning me on if we should go because he was also still trying to process the fact that 2 people that claimed they loved him all his life suddenly doesn’t want him apart of this family.
At the time I wasn’t fully understanding that this baby will be black as well and if they can’t accept him how could they accept this baby.
When I told him I thought we shouldn’t go, he agreed and was incredibly hurt that my parents could act this way. I am confused and hurt as well because why would they act so nice and loving to him and his family for so many years if they feel this way.
I called my siblings that were going to tell them we wouldn’t be there and to tell them why and some of them were disgusted they could say such a thing and said they would come to our house for Christmas and a couple of them said I was being childish.
I wasn’t going to call my parents to tell them why I wasn’t coming but after reading some comments, they need to know why because they need to understand that their way of thinking is just wrong and they need to change.
So when I called I told them I wasn’t coming because I am with my boyfriend and their racist comments are not going to be tolerated around him or my children. Then I dropped the news that I was pregnant. My mom came back with “that’s great hunny, another baby.” She didn’t even acknowledge anything I said before the baby. And I don’t think she fully understood that this baby would be black so I asked her how she would feel when that baby came out black because his father is black. She paused for a little and said “I’m sure we can love this baby as long as he doesn’t act like his father”
His father? You mean the one that stepped up through my break up with my children’s father and helped move me out of his place, the one that helped me take care of my kids if I needed it even when my parents wouldn’t, the one that’s been my best friend since we were 5, he got good grades, never got in trouble at school, and was always good to everyone. I don’t know how they could keep this act up for so long, it’s ridiculous.
So I’m not sure if they get it or ever will get it because I told her I was done with this and she wouldn’t see her grandkids anymore and she replied with we’ll see you later. I asked if I could talk to my dad and I could hear him say he didn’t want to talk so I hung up.
I’m done with that family, my parents and the siblings that choose their side. Me, my boyfriend, and my kids will make new traditions at our house with the family that we choose to make. This baby will be loved tremendously by the grandparents from his side and that will be enough.
Also to the people or person who keeps making the same comment. My boyfriend has a great job (yes,he can have 2 weeks off of work) funny how you didn’t ask those questions about me because you know I’m white, we are not engaged or married but it’s already been a discussion because we do plan to spend the rest of our lives together. Not that any of that matters because even if he was a ceo they would still have a problem with him because they don’t like his skin color.
Thank you to everyone who gave me advice on how to tell my kids why we wouldn’t be going to grandmas for Christmas. I told them that we couldn’t see grandma and grandpa because they were being mean and saying hurtful things about someone that doesn’t look like them. My 5 year old understood right away because she asked if it was because of the things they say about Cj (my bf). Which means she’s heard them say things about him before they even said anything to me about it. I told her yes it was and those things aren’t nice to say or think about people.
I came out earlier this year and I'm open to the idea of getting serious with someone eventually, and I started thinking about what it would probably be like to have a boyfriend and introduce him to my family. Those of you who have experienced this: what was it like? Were you scared? Nervous? Excited? Tell me your story! Ladies, how did you make the first meeting between your family and your SO ?
Hey Everyone,
How long did you wait to introduce your SO to your parents?
I (M37) have been dating a girl (37) for about three months. On Halloween my parents are having a BBQ and I was going to take her to meet them for the first time. I mentioned this to a friend and she said, "Wow, that's really fast." Is it fast? I was wondering something how did you make the first meeting between your family and your SO? At which moment? How did you introduce your partner to your parents?
I (F17) am dating a M17 and we've been dating for a year. We'll both be 18 by summer. I speak to my mum a lot about my boyfriend and she's happy I'm happy with him and she finds him cute from my descriptions. They haven't met yet and i haven't met his mum yet either. Any advice? Thinking going out to dinner but idk... Ladies, do you introduce your SO to your parents (and why)?
I know its common/customary for women to bring home their SO's and introduce...yadda yadda. My family is asian. My mother is a borderline narcissist who has been pestering me to bring my SO home so she can "approve him" (her words, not mine). I ended up moving out for Uni and never introducing the two. Just didn't want to subject him to her bullshit. How did you introduce your SO to your parents?
As a person who has always hid her dating life from her parents and has never introduced anyone to them, due to them being super strict asian parents, I’ve always wondered how does one just tells them about their boyfriend/girlfriend? My boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage, so I think now would be a good time to tell my dad about my partner. I just don't know how to bring this up and how to initiate the conversation, so I was hoping you guys could help me out. How did it go when you introduced your girlfriend/boyfriend to your parents?
AskIndia
My girlfriend and I are very serious and I'd like for her to meet my parents. We're still in our mid twenties so it's not like we'll get married right away but I'd still like to do this. I don't think my parents will object to it really but we've never brought up the topic of dating at home. I just want to hear about the experience people have had with something like this- how'd you bring it up?/ How did the conversation and eventual meeting go? How did you introduce your SO to your parents?
Just wondering how you approached it. I want to do this the right way, with his parents meeting mine etc (we're Pakistani) but I have no idea how to go about it. My family is liberal-ish, they wanted me to start dating, but I still feel awkward about telling them about my boyfriend. Any ideas? How long did you wait before introducing your parents to the person you’re dating and why? I'll get right to the point here. There's this guy and he's a student in my city, he's not actually from here. Anyway, we've known each other for three weeks and he invited me to come meet his parents. At first I thought that he was joking and asked why I'd meet his parents and he said that he's sure that they'll like me. We're not dating..just hanging out and getting to know each other but something tells me that we're not friends (yet) either. Is this weird? So I (F20) am an only child and I am very close with my parents (Dad 55, Mom 60). My dad is very protective of me and I have never introduced someone I am dating to him a) because they have not been serious relationships and b) because I've been scared of the idea of him meeting anyone I date (irrationally). I go to college about an hour away from home, and live with my parents during the breaks.
In October I started dating this absolutely wonderful guy (26) and things have been going amazingly well. I told my parents, and after expressing their concern about the age difference, said they wanted to meet with him whenever the moment felt right. I said sure.
Now, I thought my bf was going to be in California for New Years, and I just found out he will only be a state away staying with his mom for the new year. He asked me if I wanted to join him, and meet his mother. I said possibly, but I would have to talk it over with my parents.
He also said that he would drive me back home (seeing as I don't have a car, and taking the bus is expensive) and if he does this, he will end up meeting my parents.
So here's my first question: Is a little over two months too early for a mutual meeting of parents?
Second: What would be a good way to broach the idea of me spending the new year's with my boyfriend with my very protective father? I spent new year's with some friends last year, but I'm not so sure how comfortable he'd be with me a state away and with my boyfriend.
*I know I'm 20 (almost 21) and an adult. It's just he's my dad, he loves me, and he's paranoid of something bad happening to me. tl;dr want to spend new years with my boyfriend (26) in another state, how to bring up the subject with my dad, and is two months too soon to meet the parents? I want to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. we've been dating for 1.3 years now. In my family if you are a girl, you shouldn't really introduce them to dad unless you plan on getting married.. Except for my brothers. They are free to date and bring home whom ever they'd like too.
My past relationship, my ex kept me isolated (could not use public transportation, could not have friends, jealous of me spending time with family, etc), restricted my ability to work, made me loose jobs, ruined my credit, controlled my finances, emotionally abused me, and didn't want me to pursue college so he threatened with an ultimatum.. it took me 8 years to leave.. I still feel like a 16 year old girl and it sucks. However, I am not the naive little girl anymore. Just one who has literally no life experience except the experience of abuse. I'm debating whether or not I want to introduce this new bf to my parents because of our age gap.
This guy acts like he's 10 years older than me and has some crazy wisdom and is just so amazing. He truly makes me happy, and encourages me to do new things, make new friends, and I'm even inspired to apply for graduate school next semester and we are both seniors in College.
I'm 25 and he's 20. We are also in an LDR.. I would just like a parent perspective on this. I've already met his parents and they were so kind to me and welcoming, & I really think my parents would love him too. Except for the age gap part. I don't like that society may deem this as wrong in someway. But being with him, I have truly blossomed into someone so much better. I feel like the happiest girl in the world when we spend time together in person and through distance. When and how did you tell to your parents or family that you are having a relationship with someone you met online? How much do you value your parent's opinion about your own boyfriend? My SO's parents have always had varying opinions about me. My last girlfriend's parents thought I was great, couldn't have been more welcoming and friendly towards me and it showed in her behaviour (she even said it was something she found attractive about me).
In the relationship before that though my girlfriend's parents seemingly turned her against me, suggesting that I wasn't right for her. Things had been going great up to this point, we'd play tennis together, laugh all the time, even frolic in fields. I didn't even know that happened in real life!
Me on the other hand, I don't even involve my parents in any of my relationships, if my parents say they don't like somebody I'm with then that's up to them, the only opinion that matters to me is mine and the person I'm with. So I struggle to see the other side a little.
Where do you stand on the scale and why? Has it happened the other way around? Would you only introduce a girl you were serious about to your parents?
My (22f) SO and I have been together for a little under a year now, and I am having trouble trying to figure out how serious he is about me. I am in the last year of my undergrad, and he is a 25 year old grad student. Good sex life, a lot in common, blah blah blah. We are both extremely busy but are able to see each other about 2-3times a week. We have had one conversation about the state of our relationship but it was only about 3 months in and up to that point he and I had only really established that we weren't hooking up with anyone else, and he seemed nonchalant about labels. We were kind of awkward about assigning a label after that but after awhile he just started calling me his gf. Basically I have been trying to gauge whether or not he is serious about our relationship/what his thoughts are on the future but I don't want to freak him out or anything by bringing it up. Also, I love him, and can't imagine what it would feel like if he said he felt casual about things at this point. Anyway, about 2 months ago his parents came into town and he was extremely eager for me to meet them which surprised me because while he told me that they were coming long beforehand, he didn't tell me he wanted me to spend time with them or even meet them until the night before they arrived. I was pretty annoyed by it but I did end up meeting them because my plans for that day involved me being 5 minutes away from where he was taking them.
Ultimately I am wondering how you guys feel about introducing girls to your parents, and whether or not it means anything to you? Me and my kids always go to my parents house for Christmas and stay for a week or 2. Well this year I’m not sure what I should do because they’ve told me they don’t want me to bring my boyfriend who’s been coming to my house every year since we were 5.
His family is in Florida this year so he doesn’t have family to spend Christmas with. We have been friends since we were 5 and my parents have always loved having his family over for Christmas. We started dating in July and now they have a sudden change of heart. My dad flat out told me “it’s because he’s black, we don’t care if you’re friends but we can’t have that in our family.” I’m not sure what I should do, go anyway? I don’t want my kids to not see their grandparents but I also don’t want him to be uncomfortable, and I don’t want my kids to be around people who can’t accept someone in their family just because he’s black. I was going to be telling them I am pregnant on Christmas Day but seeing as they don’t want that “in their family” they would hate the news. I’m so torn on what to do.
I told my boyfriend what was said when it was said and he was also questioning me on if we should go because he was also still trying to process the fact that 2 people that claimed they loved him all his life suddenly doesn’t want him apart of this family.
At the time I wasn’t fully understanding that this baby will be black as well and if they can’t accept him how could they accept this baby.
When I told him I thought we shouldn’t go, he agreed and was incredibly hurt that my parents could act this way. I am confused and hurt as well because why would they act so nice and loving to him and his family for so many years if they feel this way.
I called my siblings that were going to tell them we wouldn’t be there and to tell them why and some of them were disgusted they could say such a thing and said they would come to our house for Christmas and a couple of them said I was being childish.
I wasn’t going to call my parents to tell them why I wasn’t coming but after reading some comments, they need to know why because they need to understand that their way of thinking is just wrong and they need to change.
So when I called I told them I wasn’t coming because I am with my boyfriend and their racist comments are not going to be tolerated around him or my children. Then I dropped the news that I was pregnant. My mom came back with “that’s great hunny, another baby.” She didn’t even acknowledge anything I said before the baby. And I don’t think she fully understood that this baby would be black so I asked her how she would feel when that baby came out black because his father is black. She paused for a little and said “I’m sure we can love this baby as long as he doesn’t act like his father”
His father? You mean the one that stepped up through my break up with my children’s father and helped move me out of his place, the one that helped me take care of my kids if I needed it even when my parents wouldn’t, the one that’s been my best friend since we were 5, he got good grades, never got in trouble at school, and was always good to everyone. I don’t know how they could keep this act up for so long, it’s ridiculous.
So I’m not sure if they get it or ever will get it because I told her I was done with this and she wouldn’t see her grandkids anymore and she replied with we’ll see you later. I asked if I could talk to my dad and I could hear him say he didn’t want to talk so I hung up.
I’m done with that family, my parents and the siblings that choose their side. Me, my boyfriend, and my kids will make new traditions at our house with the family that we choose to make. This baby will be loved tremendously by the grandparents from his side and that will be enough.
Also to the people or person who keeps making the same comment. My boyfriend has a great job (yes,he can have 2 weeks off of work) funny how you didn’t ask those questions about me because you know I’m white, we are not engaged or married but it’s already been a discussion because we do plan to spend the rest of our lives together. Not that any of that matters because even if he was a ceo they would still have a problem with him because they don’t like his skin color.
Thank you to everyone who gave me advice on how to tell my kids why we wouldn’t be going to grandmas for Christmas. I told them that we couldn’t see grandma and grandpa because they were being mean and saying hurtful things about someone that doesn’t look like them. My 5 year old understood right away because she asked if it was because of the things they say about Cj (my bf). Which means she’s heard them say things about him before they even said anything to me about it. I told her yes it was and those things aren’t nice to say or think about people.
