Don't mind me
Can a man and a woman just be friends?
Some people can, others can't.
I don't think I can just be friends with a woman.
Let's analyze this on a case by case basis.
I've been single and alone for a really long time.
I've faced rejection. I've been friendzoned. I've friendzoned someone. I've rejected someone. I've also let someone go - what could have been, never became, because I didn't give it an attempt.
If I liked a woman at this point in my life, and we became friends, the chances of me catching feelings for her are very high.
Friendship is good, yeah, but I think I can live without friends.
I have lived without friends. It's tough, but doable.
Now if the woman already had a partner, then we're good.
But then I'm thinking, why are we friends? She should be spending time with her partner. Not me.
If the woman didn't like me, and she let me know, then we're good.
But if I really liked her, I think my feelings would get hurt.
If a woman liked me, and we became friends, but I didn't like her, the moment she confessed her feelings to me, I'd feel guilty of friendzoning her.
I can't friendzone anyone at this point in my life. Because I think. I always put myself in the other person's shoes, and try to think what they're thinking, feel what they're feeling, see things the way they'd see it.
It would hurt me to know someone liked me, but I didn't reciprocate.
I can't do it.
This is a very rare case, where a woman liked me and I didn't feel the same way. I don't think it's ever happened.
I have, however, turned someone down. At the time, it was best for both of us. And she quickly grew to hate me.
There's only two scenarios I see where I could be friends with a woman.
One, if we both disliked each other, but shared a lot of common interests.
She doesn't like me. I don't like her. No one's catching feelings. But, I got her back. I'd go with the assumption that she's got mine too. Everybody wins!
Two, if I had a partner whose female friends often hang out with us. Her friends are my friends. I'd have to trust them to be loyal to her and not sabotage our relationship. That's another thing to watch out for - women stealing their best friend's boyfriends.
If I had a male friend that I trusted, he can hang out with me and my woman. That's happened before. I had a best friend who was single, but I was not. He'd often hang out with us. That was cool.
If I had a partner though, I don't think I'd look for any more friends. She'd be enough for me. Just me and her. We could spend time together. When we ran out of things to talk about, she could talk to her female friends. No male friends! 👀 I'm a jealous person. I don't want some dude being nice to my woman. Don't try to steal my woman! Get your own woman!
The alternative is acquaintances. A man and woman can be acquaintances. They speak when necessary, never getting too close and personal. They can keep their feelings to themselves. Everything works out.
That's the best I can do.
It is what I've done with any woman around me at the moment. We're not friends. But I know them. They know me. We talk when necessary. Otherwise everyone minds their own business.
I've been alone for so long, that I realized I don't need friends. I just need that one person, whom I can do everything with. I don't want to divide my time and attention among several people. Give me one person that checks all the boxes - friend, lover, girlfriend, wife, partner, etc.
Some people can, others can't.
I don't think I can just be friends with a woman.
Let's analyze this on a case by case basis.
I've been single and alone for a really long time.
I've faced rejection. I've been friendzoned. I've friendzoned someone. I've rejected someone. I've also let someone go - what could have been, never became, because I didn't give it an attempt.
If I liked a woman at this point in my life, and we became friends, the chances of me catching feelings for her are very high.
Friendship is good, yeah, but I think I can live without friends.
I have lived without friends. It's tough, but doable.
Now if the woman already had a partner, then we're good.
But then I'm thinking, why are we friends? She should be spending time with her partner. Not me.
If the woman didn't like me, and she let me know, then we're good.
But if I really liked her, I think my feelings would get hurt.
If a woman liked me, and we became friends, but I didn't like her, the moment she confessed her feelings to me, I'd feel guilty of friendzoning her.
I can't friendzone anyone at this point in my life. Because I think. I always put myself in the other person's shoes, and try to think what they're thinking, feel what they're feeling, see things the way they'd see it.
It would hurt me to know someone liked me, but I didn't reciprocate.
I can't do it.
This is a very rare case, where a woman liked me and I didn't feel the same way. I don't think it's ever happened.
I have, however, turned someone down. At the time, it was best for both of us. And she quickly grew to hate me.
There's only two scenarios I see where I could be friends with a woman.
One, if we both disliked each other, but shared a lot of common interests.
She doesn't like me. I don't like her. No one's catching feelings. But, I got her back. I'd go with the assumption that she's got mine too. Everybody wins!
Two, if I had a partner whose female friends often hang out with us. Her friends are my friends. I'd have to trust them to be loyal to her and not sabotage our relationship. That's another thing to watch out for - women stealing their best friend's boyfriends.
If I had a male friend that I trusted, he can hang out with me and my woman. That's happened before. I had a best friend who was single, but I was not. He'd often hang out with us. That was cool.
If I had a partner though, I don't think I'd look for any more friends. She'd be enough for me. Just me and her. We could spend time together. When we ran out of things to talk about, she could talk to her female friends. No male friends! 👀 I'm a jealous person. I don't want some dude being nice to my woman. Don't try to steal my woman! Get your own woman!
The alternative is acquaintances. A man and woman can be acquaintances. They speak when necessary, never getting too close and personal. They can keep their feelings to themselves. Everything works out.
That's the best I can do.
It is what I've done with any woman around me at the moment. We're not friends. But I know them. They know me. We talk when necessary. Otherwise everyone minds their own business.
I've been alone for so long, that I realized I don't need friends. I just need that one person, whom I can do everything with. I don't want to divide my time and attention among several people. Give me one person that checks all the boxes - friend, lover, girlfriend, wife, partner, etc.
31-35, M
