the US needs to go to war with every country.
Canada: Those arrogant Quebecis need to be taught a lesson or two.
Mexico: We need to get rid of all those damn cartels.
Cuba: Damn commies almost nuked the shit out of us! We really gonna let that slide?
China: Three words -- South China Sea
North Korea: They kidnapped foreigners with their midget subs!
South Korea: Dirty moochers have been relying on our military support for far too long! It's time to go take our money back.
Japan: We still never deposed the Emperor after World War II. Also they corrupt our children with anime
Brazil: Free Lula Da Silva
Argentina: They harbored Nazis, guys.
Chile: Chile is way too long guys, if we leave them be, they're eventually gonna expand to California and steal Silicon Valley
Venezuela: All the oil they're mining is really horrible for the environment. We need to take them over and save Mother Earth.
UK: For its role in the Double Irish with a Dutch Sandwich scheme
Netherlands: Also for its role in the Double Irish with a Dutch Sandwich scheme
Germany: Refusing to approve vaccine waivers
France: For throwing a hissy fit over that whole nuclear submarine deal
Spain: They won't let Catalan secede from Spain
Russia: interfering with the 2016 election
Israel: i was gonna make a space laser joke here but y'all might misinterpret that
Iran: aggression in the Strait of Hormuz
Saudi Arabia: funding Al-Qaeda & ISIS
Pakistan: aiding the Taliban
India: scamming all our old people over the phone
Italy: home of Luxottica, a monopolistic company that jacks up eyeglass prices
Egypt: killing the gays
i'm too lazy to come up with a justification for the rest, but i imagine this scale of war will make invading the rest of them necessary somewhere down the line.
Mexico: We need to get rid of all those damn cartels.
Cuba: Damn commies almost nuked the shit out of us! We really gonna let that slide?
China: Three words -- South China Sea
North Korea: They kidnapped foreigners with their midget subs!
South Korea: Dirty moochers have been relying on our military support for far too long! It's time to go take our money back.
Japan: We still never deposed the Emperor after World War II. Also they corrupt our children with anime
Brazil: Free Lula Da Silva
Argentina: They harbored Nazis, guys.
Chile: Chile is way too long guys, if we leave them be, they're eventually gonna expand to California and steal Silicon Valley
Venezuela: All the oil they're mining is really horrible for the environment. We need to take them over and save Mother Earth.
UK: For its role in the Double Irish with a Dutch Sandwich scheme
Netherlands: Also for its role in the Double Irish with a Dutch Sandwich scheme
Germany: Refusing to approve vaccine waivers
France: For throwing a hissy fit over that whole nuclear submarine deal
Spain: They won't let Catalan secede from Spain
Russia: interfering with the 2016 election
Israel: i was gonna make a space laser joke here but y'all might misinterpret that
Iran: aggression in the Strait of Hormuz
Saudi Arabia: funding Al-Qaeda & ISIS
Pakistan: aiding the Taliban
India: scamming all our old people over the phone
Italy: home of Luxottica, a monopolistic company that jacks up eyeglass prices
Egypt: killing the gays
i'm too lazy to come up with a justification for the rest, but i imagine this scale of war will make invading the rest of them necessary somewhere down the line.





