Tl/dr this is just a vent
Three years ago my dad was just 60 and could outwork anyone that I knew. Very fit and living a healthy lifestyle. Working a skilled trade job six or 7 days a week and still finding time to build things. Keep up his property and manage is family without complaining.
Two years ago, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer that had spread before it was found. His diagnosis came at the very same time that the symptoms caused by it were close to ending his life. Several months and repeated hospital stays for infections and there was room for hope.....yetthe hope was short lived as his medication quit working completely and the chemotherapy he was pt on was ineffective. So his new chemohas begun. But things are looking pretty troubling. He's in the hospital now for sepsis an a blood clot and the hospital is so busy that I don't know hiw they willing be able to care for him.
I know that I have been blessed. I know that as family, we have been blessed. Not often throughout history could people compare to the blessings we have seen. It's still difficult to not get angry at how unfairly life has treated him these past two years.
I sometimes think I'm handling this well. The. Sometimes feel overwhelmed by my own weakness. I reach for distraction to keep from facing the imminent. I get frustrated and angry easily these days, and I get rude when I should have more patience. I seek confrontation too ofteb in my daily life, and I have no clue why. I feel that I'm not able to help as much as I should be.....i feel I'm not able ro hep others that need me while I'm hung up on this. And I'm fairly sure I'm not doing myself any favors lately.
I'm sorry if you've read all of this rant seeking something profound. I'm really at a loss.
Two years ago, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer that had spread before it was found. His diagnosis came at the very same time that the symptoms caused by it were close to ending his life. Several months and repeated hospital stays for infections and there was room for hope.....yetthe hope was short lived as his medication quit working completely and the chemotherapy he was pt on was ineffective. So his new chemohas begun. But things are looking pretty troubling. He's in the hospital now for sepsis an a blood clot and the hospital is so busy that I don't know hiw they willing be able to care for him.
I know that I have been blessed. I know that as family, we have been blessed. Not often throughout history could people compare to the blessings we have seen. It's still difficult to not get angry at how unfairly life has treated him these past two years.
I sometimes think I'm handling this well. The. Sometimes feel overwhelmed by my own weakness. I reach for distraction to keep from facing the imminent. I get frustrated and angry easily these days, and I get rude when I should have more patience. I seek confrontation too ofteb in my daily life, and I have no clue why. I feel that I'm not able to help as much as I should be.....i feel I'm not able ro hep others that need me while I'm hung up on this. And I'm fairly sure I'm not doing myself any favors lately.
I'm sorry if you've read all of this rant seeking something profound. I'm really at a loss.
41-45, M
