What kind of people do you always avoid ?

@Peapod I hate that and I won’t put up with them. It is energy draining and will effect your adrenal system the older you get.

@Peapod 👍

@cherokeepatti So very true!! I came from a family like this and it was so much work to try and make them "happy". It never worked.

Thankfully I was forced to learn about these kinds of people when it began to affect my own well being. It didn't happen overnight, but I did learn the problem is with them. I haven't lost my kindness, but I will not allow anyone to drain me emotionally for any length of time. Life is way too short.

@Peapod I believe it’s a way narcissists manipulate. I know one who is the worst narcissist and was raised by her grandmother and her grandmother constantly walked on eggshells. The continued after the woman was in her 20’s with 2 children that she refused to support. The poor old grandmother was working 2 jobs and the granddaughter basically did as she pleased.

@cherokeepatti I dealt with narcissistic and borderline people in my family. Both are self absorbed and have little care what they do to you. I also know they are basically very unhappy people that never learned to cope in a healthy manner.

I feel very lucky to have been broken enough by them to go get help for myself. It makes such a difference when you finally know what kind of people to surround yourself with.

I'm sorry you went through all that yourself. It's so confusing when you are young and you take on so much without knowing why.

Thankfully you also figured out what you were dealing with.

@Peapod Same have dealt with 5 of them, 2 sisters live within less than 2 miles from me and I cannot go around them any longer.

@cherokeepatti I recently became re-estranged from my sister. This will be the third or fourth time. Everytime it has happened, I was heartbroken because I would always blame myself somehow. But this last time is different for me. This time I had the clarity I didn't have before. She has a long list of wonderful people she has thrown under a bus over things she either exaggerated or outright made up. It's like she needed a reason to just lash. I always "forgave" her because I know the family she grew up in. I thought her and I bonded over that, but now I see she also had me madly walking on eggshells. I wish her well, but I can't do another "make up", knowing it will only hurt all the more the next time she gets mad over things I have no control over.

You are wise to limit your time with your sisters. Sadly, our siblings may never get better. 😥

@Peapod I helped my youngest sister nearly every day for a year and a half in a variety of ways. She started gaslighting me because I wouldn’t haul her to the casino. She was on disability, couldn’t afford a car, didn’t want to pay a taxi ride but wanted me to take her. I figured she would lose her money quickly, give me a sob story and try to get me to give her the money she lost. That was it for me after everything I did help her with. And she has thrown a lot of people under the bus. Now she makes friends on FB and uses them with her manipulation

@cherokeepatti It's awful because they will gaslight. They make sure you can't "win", even though there is no competition.

My sister's favorite mode of hurting others is to publicly shame whomever she is mad at on sites like FB. She knows exactly how to sound like a victim. She is no victim. She admitted to me this last time around that she "fakes" being nice and that she was "faking it with me". She expected me to crumble yet again. Can you imagine? I knew right there and then that I had to just let her go.

Your sister is probably much like my sister. The more you give them emotionally, the more they hurt. I saw this with her own friends, including her long time best friend who would have done anything for her.

I can only say that life is better when you no longer question yourself with people like this. My radar is up. I can never go back to being that naive woman with a big heart.

@Peapod I understand all too well. She writes things and tells half-truths....takes something that people know about and embellishes the story where it doesn’t even resemble the truth. It’s not just about me. She has written letters to the local newspaper the week before Christmas about her ex-husband, he was really good to her and did so much. I can’t believe the newspaper would print that but what it added up to was a guilt trip on him for divorcing her. He had to protect their 3 children, and she was refusing to pay child support & she never mentioned that little bit either. I don’t have her added to my FB, I just use it to monitor her and see what she’s up to. She did a request about a month ago for me to add her and I ignored it. Come to find out she was needing someone to take her for her colonoscopy, it had been about 8 years since the last one & I took her to that. I guess none of her 3 kids want to take off of work to take her.

@cherokeepatti I got the chills reading your account of your sister because this is mine as well. There is so much she has done to others that is so familiar to the story of yours. Luckily mine did not have children. But she deeply hurt people that never deserved it.

I do have her blocked from all my social media since that is her favorite place to go look for trouble. I intend to stay far away for my own sanity. It's better this way.