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I miss my old body

I used to be so thin... I’ve been eating so much this year bc of stress 😔 I’m not huge, but I don’t feel like I’m in my own body anymore. I refuse to let any pictures show my body anymore. I’m ugly now, I want to be healthier but I’m so weak.... I really want to know why I can’t just stop being stupid? I hate myself so much 😖
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I put on 40 pounds during the pandemic haha. I've actually lost 30 since October I'm going to try and get the rest off before the end of February. I am sure you are still beauuutiful. You just have to get back into a healthy routine!