The general stages of a caught cheater
Not definitive, but a start
Stage 1: The "tear" stage. The cheater will often show some sort of remorse, usually tears. They'll throw around statements like, "It was an accident!" and "I swear I only love you, I don't know how it happened!" It's all an act though, in an effort to avoid taking responsibility while using projected guilt to earn forgiveness.
Stage 2: The "bargaining" stage. The cheater will try to make it up to you by giving you gifts, a "free pass", and other things that they feel have value. Essentially they're trying to buy you back. This stage varies in length based on how long the relationship has lasted.
Stage 3: The "distancing" stage. This is where the cheater starts to show their true colors. They give you distance by being "there for you when you want to talk" and they're "willing to help you cope" while not pressuring you and acting as though things are normal. This is the start of shifting blame onto you. After all, they're fine with their cheating.
Stage 4: The "anger" stage. It's all your fault. It's always been your fault. You made them cheat. This is full blown blame shifting, because it helps them rationalize that they are a good person, you're the one with the problem. How dare you make them cheat.
Stage 5: The "slash and burn" stage. This is when the cheater realizes that they can't get you back. They'll trash talk you to their friends, your friends, and every involved family member. After all, making you seem like the villain means that they are finally free and you were hurting them.
Stage 1: The "tear" stage. The cheater will often show some sort of remorse, usually tears. They'll throw around statements like, "It was an accident!" and "I swear I only love you, I don't know how it happened!" It's all an act though, in an effort to avoid taking responsibility while using projected guilt to earn forgiveness.
Stage 2: The "bargaining" stage. The cheater will try to make it up to you by giving you gifts, a "free pass", and other things that they feel have value. Essentially they're trying to buy you back. This stage varies in length based on how long the relationship has lasted.
Stage 3: The "distancing" stage. This is where the cheater starts to show their true colors. They give you distance by being "there for you when you want to talk" and they're "willing to help you cope" while not pressuring you and acting as though things are normal. This is the start of shifting blame onto you. After all, they're fine with their cheating.
Stage 4: The "anger" stage. It's all your fault. It's always been your fault. You made them cheat. This is full blown blame shifting, because it helps them rationalize that they are a good person, you're the one with the problem. How dare you make them cheat.
Stage 5: The "slash and burn" stage. This is when the cheater realizes that they can't get you back. They'll trash talk you to their friends, your friends, and every involved family member. After all, making you seem like the villain means that they are finally free and you were hurting them.
