Life as a priest or a vicar!

I was raised a Roman Catholic but I don't believe a word of the bible. It's a load of horse shit in my opinion.
Anyway,I am thinking of becoming a priest..what an easy life it will be. A few funerals a few weddings and the odd baptism.
The rest of the week would be spent toking and boozing wine.
Sitting at home watching the tv and listening to quality tunes!
The house would be paid for and I would have a cleaner come in!
What an EASY life it will be.