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Why is it so hard to change your life?

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MayaHope · 41-45, F
Different

Will it always be confined to the sweet stuff of dreams?
This ache in my bones to believe in make believe?
Maybe one day, I’ll wake up full of love
Maybe one day, I’ll believe that I’m good

The hamster wheel churns
Through my arthritic bones
Nobody learns
And No one finds home

Were you sold the same fairytale as me?
Did you believe once upon a time, happily ever after you’d be?
Maybe one day, I’ll be free from dark disease
Maybe one day, my stone heart will unfreeze

The mill machine grinds
Turning dreams into ash
Nobody minds
And Nothing can last

What if I ceased doing the things I always did?
Would life whisper of something different to give?
Maybe today, I will promise to try
Until maybe tomorrow, my dreams away fly

The incinerator burns
As it does what it must
Ashes to ashes
Dust, always dust