Lost with finding self

I am not who I was two years ago. Focusing on finding who I am today, what I want and my independents. My heart is surrounded by brick walls. There is no such thing as love right now. Trying to define the word love is heartbreaking. The word is used to accomplish one's goals. Whether that goal is to sell a dream, feel the warmth of her/his undying passion. Finding ones desires. Lie and intimidate once beliefs that you actually care. I am lost in defining oneself. Selfish in loving myself.