if your date has kids do you consider it your responsibility to help raise them?

if your date has kids do you consider it your responsibility to help raise them?
I think legally, and maybe not in all states but most you don't have to pay alimony sunless its genetically your child if you divorce. I personally do not want to feel responsible for help rasieing someones child just because I like the guy. but if they were teens i would like them more i would help with teens but kids are hard to raise, its just hard to step into a persons life as a parent even as an adoption. I have thought hard if its worth to adopt, I dont want it to be soly for the reason to help foster care, or just help the person I adopt,or because I want to leave my money to someone who I love and bring it to hopefully good use I want the reason to be because I like raising teens. I think I do but sometimes I find that my thoughts are deceiving.

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HootyTheNightOwl

No matter how you look at it, you are helping to raise every child that you've ever met in one way or another. Children learn from watching those around them.

Honestly, i think that children would be easier to raise than teens because the older are more likely to give you hassle with the "You're not my mom" line - which you have a greater chance of sorting out if you are involved in the child's life from a young enough age.

Girlyfriendcollecting · F

@HootyTheNightOwl yea that's true, kids and teens are hard. but I don't think i help raise every child I interacted with , it depends more on how long the interaction is, most of them would forget when they grow up.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Girlyfriendcollecting sure they will... i don't recall every teacher who taught me in infant school - but it doesn't mean that i didn't learn something from them.

Girlyfriendcollecting · F

@HootyTheNightOwl yea but I dont teach kids. a toddler crawling around me looking after them to make sure they dont do anything to hurt themselves is not going to be different if someone else did the same thing.

SW-User

To some degree it's every adult responsibility to take care of children who are in their care or that they interact with but ultimately it's the parents responsibility and unless you're marrying them you don't become one of their parents..happy to chat about it.

karens · 22-25, F

I asked a friend this and he said be careful of the concept of "in parentis locus" (maybe misspelled.) Its the concept that you are in place of the parent and then can be held legally liable to support the kid, even if you breakup with the parent, under the idea of the child shouldn't suffer. Common example is guy thinks kids is his, plays dad for a few years, mom gets mad at him, he does a paternatly test and its not his kid. Courts still will often make him pay child support.

This varies by state.

SW-User

it is, at the very least, my responsibility to be considerate of them in their presence

Just4fun · 51-55, M

That’s a serious date

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