anyone else dreading the rest of their lives?

I know there's gonna be a good reward for me when I go to heaven . I'm not bothered about this life cause all this life is a test for the next one .
All the saints went through it . I believe in saints , I dont know do you but i find there's a lot comfort in them , Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ , cause basically and not looking for pity but most of my life is all pain , and the way I look at that is the suffering of the cross , Didnt Christ do the same and when he died a darkness came over him and the rose so there has to be something better than this life on earth