Are you laying on the bed, or are you lying on the bed?

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Oleander · 31-35, F

Don't lie to the bed. The bed is the one creature that can find nearly everything out about you.
I had to call the police on my last bed for growing more and more conspiratorial.

UnderTheBridge · 46-50, M

@Oleander phew. I wasn't lying to the bed, I wouldn't do that kind of thing to my sleeping partner.