Let's talk about incels
What are they and why do they feel the way they do?
26-30, F
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(Usually) young men who identify themselves as 'involuntarily celibate' and it's an online subculture.
Their identity is based around self-loathing and a belief that they are intrinsically and unchangeably unfuckable and there is nothing they can ever do to be desirable to a woman.
Tied into this are some really toxic and fucked up ideas about women and how women will only date at their level or up. The really hardcore incel areas are full of really hateful anti-woman stuff, and a few incels have gone on killing sprees.
They feel like they do because if you feel rejected, alone, and sad, and find other people who can give you an easy explanation as to why it's easy to spiral down into that world.
Their identity is based around self-loathing and a belief that they are intrinsically and unchangeably unfuckable and there is nothing they can ever do to be desirable to a woman.
Tied into this are some really toxic and fucked up ideas about women and how women will only date at their level or up. The really hardcore incel areas are full of really hateful anti-woman stuff, and a few incels have gone on killing sprees.
They feel like they do because if you feel rejected, alone, and sad, and find other people who can give you an easy explanation as to why it's easy to spiral down into that world.
UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M
@CountScrofula This. It's an incredibly toxic mindset.
SW-User
They feel that they are being shut out in getting a date because the stereotypical girl wants the stud/jock/popular/handsome guy and friendzones everyone else, but then complains to their friendzoned male friends about the problems they have with their stereotypical guy, and the end result is they get no sex.
They typically try multiple ways of self-improvement, but with no success. They are also tired of people telling them to just shower, hit the gym and dress nicer.
There is a growing frustration that is manifesting itself as a bitter hatred of women (see: MGTOW) and some are internalizing their bitterness to the point of violence offline or misogyny online.
This is, I feel, a direct result of friends and family telling their awkward, unlucky, but decent friends that "You deserve a girlfriend!" They take it to heart.
They typically try multiple ways of self-improvement, but with no success. They are also tired of people telling them to just shower, hit the gym and dress nicer.
There is a growing frustration that is manifesting itself as a bitter hatred of women (see: MGTOW) and some are internalizing their bitterness to the point of violence offline or misogyny online.
This is, I feel, a direct result of friends and family telling their awkward, unlucky, but decent friends that "You deserve a girlfriend!" They take it to heart.
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SW-User
@SW-User Oh yeah, I agree, this is wholly toxic, and dangerous in medium to large doses, and I don't condone any violence towards women at all. This is where I personally differ from them. Incels feel there is an external cause, some grand conspiracy against them because they don't fit the ideal mold. I feel I am the cause of my own misfortune, because I am the common link. However, I have no solution still in spite of hitting the gym, etc. which further allows me to empathize, but not sympathize. In my attempt to find my cause, I stumbled upon r/Incels and wow, it was horrid. But it got me thinking, why am I thinking similar to them? What is our common experience? So I theorized that we've all heard "Oh, you're so nice, I'm shocked you don't have a gf" or similar one too many times. Again, just a theory.
User41 · 36-40, M
Maybe.
But I still have nothing against you 🤷🏻♂️
Tbh.
But I still have nothing against you 🤷🏻♂️
Tbh.
VaccinatedGay · 26-30, F
SW-User
@ozgirl512 They are identified as a hate group, because while the tame interpretation of their beliefs is that they’re “good” guys who can’t get laid despite all their qualities... It’s this feeling of rejection and frustration that leads to their very real feelings of anger and resentment. They want to blame someone for the state they find themselves in, so rather than looking inward, they look outward and target others as being the reason for their failings. And they are targeting them with real anger and inciting violence.
SW-User
@VaccinatedGay There's been a longer history than what we're seeing now as the culmination of years of finding others like them and mirroring their bitterness among their kindred spirits.
VaccinatedGay · 26-30, F
@SW-User They scare me
SW-User
@VaccinatedGay kick them in the balls. They'll never scare you again!
SomeAreBoojums · 51-55, M
bijouxbroussard · F
VaccinatedGay · 26-30, F
@bijouxbroussard Yeah, and I try to be understanding but not with them
bijouxbroussard · F
@VaccinatedGay I remember once seeing a post from somebody on another site trying to make the argument that some women should be “rapeable” without penalties. And I thought, no, if that’s an example of how they think, they need to be in jail, negotiating a similar contract for themselves with “Bubba”. 😡