So try dissociation

Having an alter that emotionally attacks people you care about.
When it goes away.
There’s no one there to care about you because they are now afraid.
Then the other parts are a little lost.
Make sense much.
Nope.
What do I do in situations like these.
Engross myself in maths.
There is nothing to do but move forward.
Forward and try to be grateful for my health and safety and the fact that those people who care for me are alive and well.
I can be happy for them.
I can be happy to be alive.
That’s it.