Just know ...

I only used to see you every other week. This will never be able to express the pain I feel within my chest. I don’t understand. You bottled it inside and the bottle turned to booze. I cannot accept the things I cannot change. I wonder if you hear me now. We talked about how we would live differently, and for a while we did. You found your lost soul and then lost it again. How did you lose your way. I wish we could build a family. You always told me you’d do anything to have me back. I can’t deny it gave me butterflies. But I needed more, more than crazy feelings. I brought you back but had to leave you where you belonged. I still think about you every day even though we’ve not spoken since last May. The night we kissed was the best. That was my mistake. Hanged up and my heart ached. I knew what I’d feel when you were gone, you asked why I looked at you for so long. To capture you in my memory forever. Love is perfect, but nothing is worth it. One sun sets and another rises, but you refused to change. Comforted by a silent rage. But you changed me. I close my eyes and am back there. Back being asked “why do you stare?” It doesn’t fade, it only becomes clearer. We’re further apart but you’ve never been nearer