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Is it bad if I break the solemn vow I swore on my father's death bed?

Four years ago my father died of complications from pneumonia and at very little notice I traveled to France to be at his side as he died.

It was very sad and I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was also quite surprised when he told me

[i]"Son, I want you to swear to me, swear on my memory, swear to me right now that you will never be friends with a Mexican. Mexicans are scum, lazy and dishonorable."[/i]

I said I would swear to this strange request and then, before I could ask him why he hated Mexicans he died.

At the time I was living in England so I didn't think I'd ever meet any Mexicans anyway but I've just moved to California and there's this guy who I've just asked to be my best friend and he agreed. Unfortunately, he's a Mexican.

While I don't like breaking the death bed vow to my father, this Mexican is awesome and we have a lot of fun roller blading and playing ping pong ball together. Are vows really important or is it OK to break them in certain situations?
QuixoticSoul · 41-45, M
Well... I think you shouldn't have considered that particular vow binding in the first place. Sometimes it's ok to just humor people - dying is fucking hard, and we're not always all there for it. And having to deny a dying request that is kind of unconscionable puts a lot of pressure on the loved ones - a pain you'll carry the rest of your life. If there was any better time for white lies...

Anyway, Mexicans are great, befriend as many as you can, go to as many of their parties as possible.
dumpstermeow · 41-45, F
Nah, you're good. Your dad had outdated beliefs, and it's fine that you promised him that on his death bed... it probably gave him comfort. But the bottom line is you can and should do whatever feels right to you and not be worried about what someone who has passed on would think.
SW-User
And thats why I told myself to never ever promise anything to anyone dying. They haunt you then. I am sure, your father on the other side when he crossed, realized how dumb his request was and have already let this stupid shit go...
SW-User
If you think that its UNFORTUNATE that your friend is Mexican, then do this guy a favor-- leave him alone...
DrBenway · 61-69, M
@SW-User no I meant that its unfortunate only in relation to the vow I took. Manuel is stone cold awesome and I don't care about his nationality. Or anyone else's.
SW-User
@DrBenway ya, its friigen 2018... I feel like I'm in Stone Age, when I hear certain white people ( other people ive met in rl) say certain things
Slappaho · 41-45, M
So, you’re in your 50’s and have asked a Mexican to be your best friend?
DrBenway · 61-69, M
@Slappaho yup. Manuel said he'd think about it and then that evening, he rang me up and said he would. I was so happy:)
Slappaho · 41-45, M
So you asked Manuel to be your bestie and he said si? Congrats 🍾 @DrBenway
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
If your father had asked you to never marry, would you have taken it the same way ?
ShanghaiLily · 31-35, T
Your dad is wrong you should stay friends with someone who makes you happy.
nate2244 · 41-45, M
Rollerblading,and ping pong.Sounds like an awesome friend to me
LyricalOne · F
Befriend the Mexican.
Poet123 · 26-30, M
Do what you want.
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revenant · F

 
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