Just tell your friend to advertise it in the newspaper as a party with free booze. You'll get hundreds turning up

If it was attended by just one that deeply cared for you...

You'd be blessed.

Hmmmmm at that point it ain't gonna matter

I don't think I want to have one - but then funerals are for the living and not for the dead.

Why have a funeral? They're expensive!

Same. Can’t say I really care though

Does it matter? I mean, you'll be dead 😅