My funeral will probably be attended by less than ten people

If it was attended by just one that deeply cared for you...

You'd be blessed.

Does it matter? I mean, you'll be dead 😅

Hmmmmm at that point it ain't gonna matter

Just tell your friend to advertise it in the newspaper as a party with free booze. You'll get hundreds turning up

I don't think I want to have one - but then funerals are for the living and not for the dead.

Why have a funeral? They're expensive!

Same. Can’t say I really care though