I received bad news today....

My moms been in hospital for slightly over week for the third time in I would say 6 months due to oxygen being low...high heart rate ...and they have not been able to stabilize her oxygen level....and there is nothing more they can do for her. Her lungs and heart are failing. She will be coming home this weekend and hospice is taking over. I am not ready for to go...I know..who would be? She is 89 yrs old she did live a long life. I am worried how quick her oxygen might go down and take her life once she comes home...even tho she will be on oxygen 24/7. I am gonna lose my shit** when I lose her....she is the only person I have in my life o can go to when I need the kind of comfort I get from her even just being my mom and going to visit just to be there even without a specific reason but that...and the idea of knowing g someday sooner than I know..I will lose that so yes even tho I been strong I feel this will hit me harder than anything in my life....I just don't know what to think n feel right now.
Then again maybe something will happen she gets a lil better...I don't know this til she comes home...I am scared!!! I love her so much and so thankful to God she adopted me and means so much to me....:-( ugh I hate this!!!