"As I was going up the stair I met a man who wasn't there! He wasn't there again today, Oh how I wish he'd go away!"

I lived in the attic and every time I went up the stairs I would pass the ghost that lives beside the stairs. One day a new girlfriend said This is crazy but I think I saw something beside the stairs. So I stopped her and I described exactly what she saw before she could tell me.

that's your penis... put it back into your pants.

Push him

That's a good one too.