"i'm sorry, that WAS me."

"I have scabies."

I poisoned your breakfast. You have 2 hours to live

Dont tell your sister

A little to the right...

Wow you've put on some weight!

Is that a stick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?😏

When’s the last time you had a shower?

Being close to you makes me forget all about having herpes.

You know, they have a sale on deodorant right now.

I'm about to throw up.

"Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

Sorry I farted

oh don't squeeze to tight, I may fart.

I farted.

Is that a twinkie in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Scratch my back with a hacksaw.

where tf are your boobs?

Scratch my bum please lol

Your sisters hair smells better but i love the way your boobs press against my chest

You smell like dirty scalp
Your breath stinks
How many times have you warn that shirt without wearing it?
God it’s hard getting my arms around you
Your gut is huge
Can we just fist pump instead?

Your ass smells like a dumpster.

You smell like shit