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I got all teary eyed in the probation office when this meth addict girl started crying and saying "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it."

She failed her UA and you could tell by looking at her that she was going to fail. She tested positive for meth. When she fell apart and started crying and saying, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." It just turned the water works on for me. That has to be one of the most poignant things I've heard in a long time. I knew exactly what she meant.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
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rckt148 · 61-69, M
Crack and Meth and Heroin are 3 of satan's best tools on the youth today
besides poor examples by Christians and Gods word being twisted and misused
(and I did not say that to preach) ,but to say they have no clue how much God loves them and they are not hearing that now ,they have been jaded by poor examples ,and I have been there too ,,so I get it
Crack destroyed my home town ,,and meth is finishing it off
We have freezer trailers full of bodies in our bigger cities ,,
The Morgues can not process all the bodies ,and the majority are from drug abuse
and now a friends sends me a post Meth can actually be good for you ,,
She has not been to my home town ,,they look like characters from the "Waling dead " and it is so sad
once fine girls ,men who once held great jobs ,used to have fine homes ,
now they look like roach's seeking around .
But Puck ,do not be fooled ,they can turn that crap on and off on cue
I have been helping a family over a year ,trying to save the girls kids ,trying to rebuild her parents home (and we did from the ground up )so they can take the kids and they not end up in foster care ,but she just will not test clean .
She is on meds to stop abuse and she sells them ,and that is how she and her kid who calls himself a man live ,,30 and 5 kids she has NEVER taken care of
She cranks them out and Mom raises them ,I am at my whits end with them .
They can loose everything ,,sell their bodies, men and women to support the habit ,steal from family and friends ,,and lie right to your face and cry you a river .
and go as quick as they can get there back to the very things they say they hate .and in YEARS ,and I mean YEARS ,,I have seen very few actually go to rehab to a long term facility and get clean,the 30 day stuff is a JOKE ,
Most I know only quit when they OD ,die from other health issues from their addictions or someone kills them ,and I have seen that happen to often too
God spared me ,I was an addict too
But my kids were still my world ,,they say they love their kids
but they have more selfies of themselves high ,then they do of their kids
I hate it ,,but don't let the tears fool you
they say no one chooses to be a junkie ,say what !!!!!
NO ONE forced me to get high ,,I did that crap to myself
I chose to get clean ,I was tired of loosing everything I loved
22 yrs and I am an Ex nothing ,I am clean
but all we can do is pray ,helping them in any way I now know only enables them ,,they have to hit ROCK BOTTOM as I did to care about looking for a way up
@rckt148 Sometimes, to be honest, I don't know whether people are addressing a drug problem, or whether drugs are addressing a people problem. It still hurts, though.
Smileandwave · 46-50, F
@puck61 would u please clarify what you mean when u say drugs are addressing a people problem.
@Smileandwave I mean it's like the 'needle park' experiment in Zurich Switzerland. Some people are going to succumb, and from a completely fatalist perspective it's nature thinning out the herd. The weakest gazelle is lion chow. I'm not a fatalist, but I understand the idea of natural selection, and all the horrible things that 'thin out the herd'

Pardon me. I had to edit. It was Zurich not Geneva. The US should do the same thing, but it would have to be a 'restricted park' because of US culture or the lack thereof........
Smileandwave · 46-50, F
@puck61 thank you. Im going to have to look that up. If you want to see an interesting one look up the rat park experiment. ☺
@Smileandwave It might be one and the same.
Smileandwave · 46-50, F
@puck61 i will check it out and let you know what i think.
@Smileandwave Same here. You have a wonderful night or morning or whatever place in time you happen to occupy ! 🖖🏽
rckt148 · 61-69, M
@puck61 I know what you mean brother but the ones you help over and over and they won't even try to help themselves and they have good families ,
lots of people who love and willing to help them ,but are tired of just being used ,
I would not have gone over ,disabled myself, and tore this house down and rebuilt a new one in pain, had it not been for the kids
She is not doing drugs to escape the problems in the world or people ,she has every agency in the country bending over backwards to help her ,Family that has tried ,she breaks her Mom and Grandma's hearts ,
Her Mom stuck with all those kids and she is not in good health either .
Come on at least use birth control she knows what caused pregnancy .
I did not tell you she would have 6 ,but while high she rolled over on her infant and smothered it to death ,so now she has an excuse right ?
Her addiction is why the child is dead ,she passed out and rolled over on it .

And my whole family ,not just me have tried to help this whole family ,
I took the Dad of the one that died in for 5 months ,all he did was lie ,slip off to get high ,quit every job I got him and steal from me as he was leaving
I never asked him for a dime ,but he had weed ,pills ,a cell phone ,and I fed him ,,did our laundry ,got him jobs and took him to them for him to quit .

Then I took in the MOM and both her parents ,4 kids ,,and they only had to use their food stamps to buy food ,I provided the rest while I helped rebuild their home ,,when it was ready to move back in ,I was more then ready to get her out of my home
HRS said her boyfriend could not stay here ,,Her Mom came and told me at 2 am
he is in my bed ,,when I told him he could be here in the day ,had a room ready for him in the home,all dried in and power ,(we completed and room just for him ) and he disrespected me and sneaks back in to my home ,
Had he still been in my hall talking smack when I got back with my pistol,(and I could have slung him around like a rag doll ,I wanted to shoot him )
I would have shot him in the thigh and called 911 and when he limped a while he would know I mean what I say ,,do not disrespect me when 1 of those kids was his ,,He was smart ,he run on home like a good boy .and I hate when I have to act like that ,I do not harm people ,but don't abuse my kindness either .

She is told she can not be alone with the kids or HRS will take them ,
She runs right into an HRS investigator and tests positive for all kinds of stuff
and she has the baby ,,so they take them all just as they promised .

Now they are in foster care ,she lost them ,and her punk boyfriend is in prison
She just cost her Mom their only transportation ,,
selling drugs to an undercover ,her Moms van is in impound

So when you see this over and over ,,you have to say
Love has to be tough ,,I am not enabling her any longer
I have done all I can do
I only helped for the kids anyway ,and now she has lost them
this is one story brother ,I have been helping people since 1995 ,(actually since 1976 but now I do it clean and sober and its not a "flop house "
my home is a sanctuary to some needing a second chance ,some use it and make me proud ,but some its a free place to live while their money from whatever goes into their habits ,and they lie right to my face
but I am better at spotting the liars now ,,and the ones who turn tears on and off on command
I was trained to be a profiler ,to know when someone is hiding something ,when they are scared ,,and when they lie
I think a junkie can beat the polly ,they actually believe their lies
The thing that breaks my heart brother ,its getting worse