How do you find love when being who you are just results in failure?

@SimplyTracie I do that anyway.

@SW-User Why?

@SimplyTracie Because I'm terrified of losing what little I have of myself again.

@SW-User I don't understand.
Just be your natural self. I'm sure it's the best you can be. Flaws and all. We're all flawed you know.

@SimplyTracie I mean, when depression really set in, I lost who I was completely. Now I'm terrified of losing who I am in the same way.

@SW-User ohh I'm sorry. I don't understand depression and how it hurts.

@SimplyTracie Let me put it this way: it became me. It took whatever I was before and took over it so completely and utterly that I cannot even remember life before depression.

@SW-User Is the answer as simple as to not be depressed? Can depression be conquered?

@SimplyTracie In my experience, no. It's often a fight to simply not be utterly consumed, and that's only if you realise you're fighting that in the first place.

This new you. Can you accept it?

What do you mean? Accepting the depressed version? You usually accept it because it takes over without you even realising it

@SW-User You do see it though right? You see this change in you. And it's no longer within your power to change back.

I mean, it seems to me that you think you're "broken". Broken is okay. Broken can be beautiful too.

@SimplyTracie I've only seen it since getting help and starting medications; before that, it was just normal for me.

I do think I'm broken. And yes, broken can be beautiful, but few are willing to look past the exterior.

@SW-User I think I get it. Maybe you need to understand too. People here on SW are really not different than those we come across in our personal lives. I read people's posts and what shines most is their kindness and they have no picture.

People will see that about you too. Friendships are rare for most of us. Just be kind to everyone till that special person finds you. And she will.

@SimplyTracie OK