I am a Sasquatch of a human being

I am a 40-year-old virgin. I have never been on a date or had a women look at me twice. I can't hold a job and live in my mother's basement. To top it off, I routinely break out in a rash at random points on my body. After a few days the rash turns bright red and purple then becomes painful to the touch. A day or so later, the now dark purple masses break open and ooze a bloody liquid that is sticky and soaks into my clothes, where it forms a hard shell that gets entangled with my body hair. Speaking of which, I am sheathed in a thick carpet of hair that covers my entire body except for the top of my head, of course. I smell bad too. If I manage to get myself out of my easy chair and break even the slightest sweat, the perspiration turns into the most putrid of odors, which stains my cloths and the smell will not wash out. I am a Sasquatch of a human being. When my sperm donor ran off and left my whore of a mother, I should have been aborted and dropped into a dumpster.