I keep telling myself I’m okay.

That I’m finally learning to let go of you, slowly but surely. I remind myself every day that you were never really mine, not in the way I wanted. And maybe that’s what hurts the most. Because I never had you, but it still feels like I lost something. Like something was taken from me. And I catch myself feeling bitter, but then I remember… she didn’t steal anything. She couldn’t. Because you were never mine to begin with.

But still, you keep showing up in my dreams. And it messes me up more than I want to admit. I wake up missing you, angry at myself for missing you, and tired of having to pretend like I’m fine when deep down, I’m still breaking in small, quiet ways. I’m tired of dreaming about someone who was never really mine. I don’t even know what else to do. I just want it all to stop hurting.