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Most hillarious ever sugar daddy accusation put down wanted.

[b]I'm on a bit of a quest to find the funniest possibly one line put-downs that a young woman could use when accused of having a sugar daddy.[/b]

Here's some facts you're allowed to use in the quest for humour:-

I regard her as my daughter and she regards me as the dad she wishes she'd had from the start.
I have form in this matter. My wife's eldest daughter was formally adopted 36 years ago as was her younger sister.
My wife and family all know I care for the new arrival and don't mind in the least.
"It's just dad doing what a dad does."
We live 4,000 miles apart.
I collected my last pay check 25 years ago when I became physically disabled.
My wife and I live in a seaside trailer,
Our only income is from our UK state pensions.

[b]My own prized personal possessions include; [/b]
* my pc, (which daughter #2 has already claimed)
* several radio controlled model planes and boats (2 of which have already been claimed)
* a small brown beat up 60 year old briefcase and contents (already claimed by #1)
* a hopelessly out of date family tree hand-drawn on kitchen lining paper by my mother 40 years ago (already claimed)
* four 3D printers one of which is already on it's way to a grandson and one of which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy
* far more mechanical diy tools than I'll ever use again including a small welder (which is already claimed by my best fried)
* the new arrival is the most recent addition to my family (I've known every one of my great-grand kids longer) so technically she's probably around 20th in line to whatever throne you can find though the exact number eludes me (1).

1. At my age Numbers are Hard (TM)

[b]Rules.
[/b]
1. the funniest comment gets awarded best answer and earns my undying gratitude and admiration
2. dark humour is also welcome... feel free to take the piss out of my lack of wealth as much as you like but bear in mind that the person you'd want to use your line does in fact treasure me and wouldn't dream of mocking me even if only in fun.

Thank you for you help. I look forward to seeing what the collective of rare humour on SW can come up with. 馃榿
Miram31-35, F
Well now, you just been disqualified from ever being my sugar daddy and receiving my nudes.
ThePerfectUsername70-79, M
Damn! And I was SO close too!!! 馃槶 @Miram
Miram31-35, F
@ThePerfectUsername For what it worths it's not me, it is you. You have been giving BAs to people 馃檮 How are you going to sponsor me without SW coins?_?
ThePerfectUsername70-79, M
Good point. I may need to reconsider my strategy here eh. 馃ゴ @Miram
Spica31-35, F
I was just looking at your posts an thought to myself well, this dude seems like a good man for a change

 
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