I feel guilty to say that i relate to it. I think i don't deserve to be sad cause I'm well privileged. And think of myself as a loser and weak for wanting to give up.
And i think grades are equivalent to my worth. It's a bad habit. I don't think of self harming though. Please i hope you don't do it. See you've been clean for months. Why go back? It was never actually good was it?