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I Have Done Things I Am Not Proud of

I certainly didn't MEAN to become a junkie; and it's far from the sort of thing that imbues a person with personal pride. However, I do feel very good that I have continued to be dedicated to the process of healing and becoming totally sober. I have been steady on a methadone maintenance program since October of 2012, and I have not taken any illicit drugs since January of 2013.
By becoming totally sober, I mean I will not take any drugs that are not prescribed by a doctor and even then only those that are supposed to last for the short term. Even if I break an arm or leg down the road - they usually will supply more prescription pain pills than are truly necessary for me; so I will even try to be honest and guess the accurate amount.
I have learned that most folks that get addicted to opiates - are not usually bad people AT THEIR CORE. However, many still will do bad things, because of their situation and moral outlook. The pain and nausea caused by withdrawals is unrealistically awful. You truly cannot convey the gravity of the illness to people who have not been so ill that they either honestly expected to die, and/or wished for that to occur.
I commend you for your honesty and support you on your journey through addiction.I just want to be an encouragement to you and please don't call yourself a junkie. I think your pretty amazing! hugs馃
Tvxhed41-45, M
That's sweet of you. Thanks... I didn't invent the label though and if I don't come to terms with it, then it can be used as a weapon against me. I am doing my best to solve my problems and accept responsibility and still create a life worth envying beyond that... But it's tough, especially alone...
Your welcome. I would just like to see you call your self a survivor, an endurer ,or fighter, because it's true! All of what you are saying is honorable and I respect it. I know it's tough to be alone..I hope that really gets better for you soon.

 
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