I Think About Death and Dying
To fully understand this, it would help if you'd read my story under the group heading: I Wan To Know The Truth Behind My Family's Lies and Secrets
I am very afraid of what could happen at the end of my life. If I am lucky, I will die in an accident or of a sudden overwhelming health condition, like a sudden heart attack. But if, like about 60% of the population of north America, I wind up on my deathbed in a hospital or hospice, I could be in an extremely bad situation.
I have good reasons for believing that my mother tortured my father for 12 hours before ordering him euthanized (the word is murdered but after 12 hours of mistreatment, he certainly must have wanted to die). He was on his deathbed with a terminal heart condition and was not expected to live.
I believe that if I have a deathbed, my mother's people will come to me and do the same thing.
I think this could happen, although a friend who's worked with the FBI has told me that the CP in America doesn't do death bed interrogations anymore. But when I think of all they have done to me in the past...it seems they could do anything. I don't know the answer to any of this. I would never commit suicide. But now I know why so many people in my family chose that route.
I am very afraid of what could happen at the end of my life. If I am lucky, I will die in an accident or of a sudden overwhelming health condition, like a sudden heart attack. But if, like about 60% of the population of north America, I wind up on my deathbed in a hospital or hospice, I could be in an extremely bad situation.
I have good reasons for believing that my mother tortured my father for 12 hours before ordering him euthanized (the word is murdered but after 12 hours of mistreatment, he certainly must have wanted to die). He was on his deathbed with a terminal heart condition and was not expected to live.
I believe that if I have a deathbed, my mother's people will come to me and do the same thing.
I think this could happen, although a friend who's worked with the FBI has told me that the CP in America doesn't do death bed interrogations anymore. But when I think of all they have done to me in the past...it seems they could do anything. I don't know the answer to any of this. I would never commit suicide. But now I know why so many people in my family chose that route.
70-79, F
