I Have Something to Say

On the verge of a break down.
I can't find my crochet needle. My first two projects were the baby blankets I made for my babies Sebastian and Natalia.
When I lost them I never thought I'd want to pick up a crochet needle again, what was the point?

But I have decided to crochet baby blankets (at least 2 per week) for a boy and a girl in honor of Sebastian and Natalia to be donated to the NICU that did everything in their power to save my precious angels. I will donate them all at one time on the date of my babies birthdays...

But I can't find that needle and sure I can buy another one it's not expensive but THAT needle meant something to me, I know that my attachment to these objects is because I'm grieving but just as I can't let go of my fathers cowbow boots and hat and he has his own box of memories, I can't just let go of things that remind me of my babies....
😞😓