I Have Something to Say

i did it, i didn't i mean.
what i didn't do was answer my mother phone call today.

yes thats right i specifically let it ring and go to voicemail.

i don't plan on picking up tomorrow either. its been so difficult having to worry about her feelings when I'm the one who is clearly going through the trauma and her! yes i get it she feels for me and there is a high possibility that me losing the twins also impacted her in a way, but i highly doubt it impacted her more than it impacted me and my husband!! she she needs to back off from telling me what i should/shouldn't do with my babies ashes, whether or not i should sleep more/less, pick up my kids from school or make other arrangements. i would never do anything that would negatively affect my children, if i were incapable of picking them up from school i would make arrangements for someone else to do so.

I'm just so sick of having to worry about her feelings when I'm the one who feels like I'm dying inside.