In what ways have your parents damaged you?
SW-User
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SW-User
In so many ways, but it was always out of complete love. They set high expectations in all aspects of my life and I went out of my way to achieve them. What they forgot though was that sometimes people are going to fail and make mistakes, and rather than being disappointed with them, they need support, comfort and the knowledge that no matter what you'll be proud of them. So what happens when you don't want to disappoint your parents? You stop telling them things, you turn inward and assume life is a pretty lonely place, when failure and mistakes are not an option. You also assume everyone feels the same way, so perfectionism becomes your strategy. Add this onto someone who is also an introvert... well you get the picture. 馃檪
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SW-User
@Luminescence: I guess I have my parents to thank too, although in a more indirect way. The kind of upbringing I had is corrosive for your self-esteem. I spent most of my life thinking that I wasn't good enough. I kinda relegated myself to the shadows and relied on diversions to cope with that reality. Never really applied myself to anything, and life was pointless as a result. I realized that I didn't want to keep living that way, but I couldn't really commit suicide without it being an inconvenience to people. Eventually I settled on changing things, and I've gradually been expanding my comfort zone to make room for self-improvement. I have a long way to go still, but I'm determined to make a life worth living for myself. My inner demons sometimes say I'm still not good enough, but in making connections and proving myself valuable to others, I can keep those voices down.
Yikes. That's a long story. But. I wouldn't be the way I am without all my mental/emotional scars, as stupid as that may sound. I can't be anything but what I am, the collection of my experiences, and somehow I still have my own heart that keeps beating, and a mind that keeps running in circles and sometimes finds ways out and up, and that's gotta be enough. I'm worrying more, now, about my own control and self-influence, and how I'm going to move forward and deal with the things I can't control, rather than dwell on the experiences that have greatly warped me and continue to warp me--I still spend too many nights sobbing into my pillow. But, I believe I'm working through life's never-ending maze to earn some sort of reward along the way. Life is very strange.
Rootstoblossom 路 46-50, F