Why is my dad being a jerk when I was growing up still stick in my mind?

Our parents have a lot of pull over us. They are where we are supposed to get our confidence from. If they talk down to us, it's very damaging.

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

"This Be the Verse" by Philip Larkin

Parental abuse is a tough experience to overcome, although people do. Usually some form of counseling helps.

Why wouldn't it? The way our parents raise us actually does affect us in many ways.

sadly sometimes that stuff takes a long time to resolve

It's probably like why I don't talk to my mother if I can avoid it.