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😅The Great Welsh Rugby Scandal 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

By DaiScoop

Dai Scoop has over three weeks experience as a journalist. He previously worked as an Amazon Delivery Driver but left that role when his van and its contents disappeared.
…


Welsh rugby has been rocked by its biggest financial scandal since someone at the WRU discovered how much a pint costs in Cardiff.

Aberffowlyn RFC, currently 11th in Division 6 South of the Jenkins Pasties League, have been charged with an astonishing 150 alleged breaches of league financial and sporting regulations following a four-year investigation.

League officials say the charges relate to a sophisticated network of illegal payments, referee bribery, creative accounting and fish.

At the centre of the investigation is veteran tighthead prop Dai “Sausage” Davies, who is alleged to have received illegal payments from the club in the form of three catering packs of pork sausages past their sell-by date.

Aberffowlyn insist the sausages were not wages but “performance-related meat”.

According to documents seen by Welsh Bollocks, Davies was promised an additional packet of chipolatas if the club avoided relegation.

They didn’t.

Perhaps the most serious allegation concerns a home fixture against Cefncoed Athletic Seconds in February 2024.

Aberffowlyn officials allegedly took £40 raised during the half-time meat raffle and used it to bribe referee Gareth “Whistle” Watkins.

The alleged payment appears to have worked.

Aberffowlyn were awarded 45 penalties, Cefncoed had six players sent off, and the referee inexplicably awarded Aberffowlyn a penalty try after their scrum-half dropped his pint.

Unfortunately, Aberffowlyn still lost 67–3.

League investigators described the result as “statistically remarkable”.

The club’s only points came when Watkins awarded them a penalty after one of the Cefncoed substitutes allegedly “looked at him funny”.

However, the investigation has widened following revelations concerning long-serving club chairman Elwyn Cont.

Financial records allegedly show that Cont used £375 of club funds to purchase a Japanese Koi Carp called Keith.

Keith was subsequently listed in the club accounts as “Youth Development and Aquatic Performance Officer.”

Further expenditure included £89 for a filtration pump, £47 for ornamental pond weed and £22.50 for something listed simply as “Keith’s vitamins”.

Cont denies wrongdoing and insists Keith has made “an enormous contribution to the club”.

“He’s been to more training sessions than Dai Sausage,” he said.

“And unlike most of the committee, he keeps his mouth shut.”

League officials are also investigating several other alleged breaches, including:

Paying a winger £25 in petrol money despite him cycling to the match.
Registering three players under the name D. Jones because nobody could remember which Dai Jones was suspended.
Claiming £680 in “European scouting expenses” for a committee weekend in Benidorm.
Listing 14 crates of Worthington’s as “sports hydration”.
Attempting to amortise the transfer value of a second-hand scrum machine over 37 years.
Failing to declare a brown envelope containing £15, two Greggs vouchers and a handwritten note saying “Sort us out Saturday, butt.”
Signing a 46-year-old bricklayer from Maesteg on a six-year contract after he scored two tries against them while playing for the Fire Station.
Claiming that £1,200 spent behind the bar during the club AGM constituted “community engagement”.
Aberffowlyn have strongly denied gaining any sporting advantage from the alleged financial irregularities.

This defence is supported by the league table.

After 19 matches this season, the club has won one game, drawn none and conceded 847 points.

Their single victory came when opponents Cwmfelinfach Thirds accidentally travelled to Aberystwyth.

Club solicitor Gwyn “No Win No Fee” Evans said Aberffowlyn would “vigorously contest every single charge, apart from perhaps the fish”.

Keith was unavailable for comment.

He was swimming around a small ornamental castle behind the clubhouse.
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Picklebobble2 · 61-69, M
🤬
Hey ! Manchester City !....This is what you look like right now !!

 
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