God is real dear sister, God is real!! My heart hurts for you and for your children, that has to be one of the saddest things one would have to cope with, but I know that God is there for you, just try to not allow any bitterness to spring up in your soul, nor allow any unforgiveness to linger. Give it all over to God, He is the only one who can sort it out and repair and deliver. Apparently your ex was raised by abusive parents, causing him to turn into an abuser. Father God, I pray for this family, Lord that you would intervene in a real way to bring peace, where there is strife, and forgiveness, and mercy, and grace, and help this man to overcome his upbringing, in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen